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(he'll never be an) ol' man river
T.I.S.M.
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I'm on the drug,
I'm on the drug,
I'm on the drug that killed River Phoenix.

I saw his body thrashing round.
I saw his pulse rate going down.
I saw him in convulsive throes.
I said "I'll have one of those."

Hillary had,
Hillary had,
Hillary had it in his veins.

Hillary had Everest in his veins;
Armstrong did moon, was not the same;
Heroes explore to give us hope;
River pushed back the envelope.

Drank the slab,
Drank the slab,
Drank the slab that Bon Scott drunk.

I drank the slab that Bon Scott drunk;
I injected some of Hendrix's junk;
I booked a seat on Lynyrd Skynyrd's plane;
Mama Cass's sandwich? Ate the same.

Now I'm bored,
Now I'm bored,
Now I'm bored there's no stopping.

Now I'm bored and there's no stopping;
I need another celeb to fill a coffin;
Where'll I get my next drug action?
Odds on it'll be Michael Jackson.

I'm on the drug,
I'm on the drug,
I'm on the drug that killed River Phoenix.